Are you tired of constantly repeating the same patterns? You really want to be more healthy, but for some reason, there is always a good excuse not to go to the gym or cook a proper meal. How about procrastination? Have you made a list of things that need to be finished this month and yet again barely anything was done? You are ready to introduce new habits and routines to your life, but for some reason they don’t stick.
I totally know how you feel, I’ve been through it myself. Too many times!
Changing our habits is challenging for two reasons:
A- We try to change the wrong thing
B- We try to change our habits in the wrong way
I always thought that in order to build long lasting habits, I need to set my goals first and based on them, map out my new habits. There is nothing wrong with that, but what I’ve noticed is that they very rarely stick long enough to become part of the life that I wanted to create.
I was determined to figure out why my new habits didn’t last for longer than a couple of months.
The answer was simple. My beliefs and my mindset were still stuck in my old ways. Even though I wanted to achieve great results, and I had great motivation for it, I couldn’t identify myself as a person I wanted to become.
You see, we very rarely create habits from the perspective of who we want to be, usually our habits have been based on goals we set and what we want the outcome to be.
James Clear, in his book “Atomic Habits” explained that there are 3 layers of behavioural change:
Changing your outcomes
This level is concerned in changing your results (losing weight, publishing a book). Most of the goals you set are associated with this level of change.
Changing your process
This level is concerned with changing your habits and systems (implementing new routines at the gym, decluttering your desk, developing meditation practice). Most of the habits you build are associated with this level.
Changing your identity
This level is concerned with changing your beliefs (worldview, your self-image, your judgement about yourself and others). Most of the beliefs, assumptions, and biases you hold are associated with this level.
Many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads us to outcome-based habits. The alternative is to build identity-based habits. With this approach, we start by focusing on who we wish to become.
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Outcomes are about what you get. Processes are about what you do. Identity is about what you believe.
When you look at your beliefs and self-image, how much are they aligned with your habits?
The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader.
You may want to be healthier but if you continue to prioritise comfort over accomplishment, you will be drawn to relaxing rather than training.
These small changes have a great impact on what you believe is possible for you.
Whatever your identity is right now, you only believe it because you have proof of it. You are not born with present beliefs. Every belief is learnt and conditioned through past experience.
When you repeated a story to yourself for years, it’s easy to accept them as a fact:
- I’m terrible with directions
- I’m not a morning person
- I’m always late
- I’m terrible at maths
The more you repeat the behaviour the more you reinforce the identity associated with the behaviour. Your habits are how you embody your identity.
The more pride you have in a specific aspect of your identity, the more motivated you will be to maintain the habits associated with it.
Are you ready to change your beliefs in order to create better habits and better results?
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