Hey there, friend! So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how hard it is to move on from things—whether it’s a past relationship, a rough patch at work, or just life in general. If you’re anything like me, you might have tried diving headfirst into new projects, throwing yourself into work, or even jumping into a new relationship, all in the name of “moving on.” But here’s the thing: while all that action might seem like progress, it doesn’t always get to the heart of what’s really holding us back. The emotional side of moving on is just as important, if not more so.
So, if you’re ready to dig deep and work on what’s really going on inside, let’s chat about the five things that might be stopping you from truly moving on—and, of course, how to tackle each one head-on.
1. Self-Forgiveness
One of the biggest hurdles to moving on is forgiving ourselves. We often think about forgiveness in terms of forgiving others, but how much time do we actually spend forgiving ourselves? Whether it’s for mistakes we’ve made, things we wish we’d done differently, or simply for being too hard on ourselves, self-forgiveness is crucial.
Practical Tip: Try this exercise: Write a letter to yourself as if you were your best friend. In this letter, acknowledge what happened, express understanding for why you made the choices you did, and then—this is key—tell yourself that it’s okay to let go. Once you’ve written the letter, read it out loud, and then put it away somewhere safe. This act of self-compassion can be incredibly healing.
2. The Ability to Let Go
Letting go of past hurts can be incredibly tough. We hold on to grudges, disappointments, and the pain others have caused us. But the truth is, holding onto these feelings does nothing but weigh us down.
Practical Tip: Have you heard of Ho’oponopono? It’s an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves four simple phrases: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” Repeat these to yourself while thinking about the person or situation you need to let go of. You might be surprised at how light you feel afterward.
3. Being Stuck in the Past
How many times have you found yourself replaying past situations, thinking, “If only I had said this,” or “How did that even happen?” It’s easy to get stuck in these loops, but the truth is, the past is done. What’s happened has happened, and no amount of rehashing will change that. The more you dwell on the past, the harder it is to move forward.
Practical Tip: Next time you catch yourself stuck in a “what if” spiral, try this: Write down the lesson you learned from the situation. Focus on what you can take away from it, and then consciously shift your thoughts to something you’re looking forward to in the future. This helps turn your focus from what you can’t change to what you can.
4. Loneliness
Ah, loneliness. It’s one of the toughest parts of moving on. You might feel like there’s this huge, empty space where that person, job, or situation used to be. But here’s the thing—you’re not really alone. This is your chance to get to know yourself better and focus on what you need.
Practical Tip: Instead of running from the loneliness, lean into it. Spend some quality time with yourself—whether that’s through journaling, going for walks, or trying out a new hobby. This is your time to nurture yourself and discover what truly makes you happy, independent of anyone else.
5. Fear of Abandonment
Finally, let’s talk about the fear of abandonment. This one often ties back to our childhood and past experiences that left us feeling unwanted or alone. These feelings can carry over into adulthood, making it hard for us to move on from situations where we felt abandoned, even if it’s just in our heads.
Practical Tip: One way to work through this is by reconnecting with your inner child. Think about a time when you felt abandoned or unwanted as a child, and then imagine comforting that child as the adult you are now. Remind yourself (and your inner child) that you are loved, valued, and never truly alone. This kind of visualisation can be incredibly powerful in healing those deep-seated fears.
Moving on isn’t easy, and it’s okay to take your time with it. The important thing is to be kind to yourself along the way. You’ve got this, and remember—you’re not alone. Whether it’s self-forgiveness, letting go, stepping out of the past, embracing your own company, or working through fears of abandonment, these steps will help you heal and move forward. Here’s to brighter days ahead!
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